Gaslighters (GA): PART 2

creation of

12 steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over our need to control others’ perception — that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to honest humility.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our need to manipulate over to the care of that Power as we understood It.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, including the harm caused by our distortion of reality.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our deceptions.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, especially our need for control, dominance, and rewriting of others' experiences.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our need to manipulate truth for our own advantage.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed by gaslighting, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and, when tempted to twist reality, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power, seeking only knowledge of Its will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other gaslighters, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

13th Step Safeguard

We remain mindful that recovery from gaslighting is not about gaining new forms of control or power over others, but about relinquishing manipulation altogether. We avoid using recovery language or programs to mask continued unhealthy behavior.

12 Traditions

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on group unity.

2. For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority—a loving Higher Power.

3. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop gaslighting.

4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting GA as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to those who still suffer.

6. GA ought never endorse, finance, or lend the GA name to any outside enterprise.

7. Every GA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. GA should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

9. GA ought never be organized; but we may create service boards directly responsible to those they serve.

10. GA has no opinion on outside issues; the GA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions.

12 Promises

1. We will face reality without fear.

2. We will no longer need to distort others' experiences to feel safe.

3. We will become trustworthy and safe for others.

4. Our relationships will become grounded in mutual respect and truth.

5. We will experience genuine intimacy without control.

6. The need to rewrite or deny others' experiences will leave us.

7. We will recognize and own our part honestly.

8. Our lives will gain real peace, free from mental gymnastics.

9. We will be able to admit fault quickly and sincerely.

10. We will gain empathy for others’ pain.

11. Our Higher Power will help us surrender our ego-driven need to dominate.

12. We will become humble servants of truth.

Slogans

• "Reality is not negotiable."

• "Own it to release it."

• "Control is the problem, not the solution."

• "Truth heals; lies destroy."

• "Let others have their reality."

• "Listen. Pause. Accept."

• "Validate before you speak."

Acronyms

REAL

• Respect

• Empathy

• Acceptance

• Letting Go

STOP

• Slow down

• Tell the truth

• Own your part

• Pray for guidance

🔎 Breakdown of the Core Issue

Gaslighting is not about lying—it’s about controlling someone’s perception of reality to preserve one’s ego, power, or safety. In GA, the spiritual disease is self-centered fear: If I let go of control, I might lose love, safety, or worth. The healing is spiritual humility: I am safe without controlling reality. I am enough.

"Am I meant for Gaslighters Anonymous, or not?"

• Have I ever tried to control how others see situations to protect myself?

• Have I denied others' experiences because they made me uncomfortable?

• Have I minimized or twisted facts to avoid accountability?

• Have I manipulated conversations to shift blame or guilt?

• Do I fear being exposed as wrong or flawed?

• Have people ever told me I made them feel confused, crazy, or invalidated?

If I can answer yes to any of these, then GA may be the right place for me.

 Not because I’m bad — but because I want to heal.

 Because I want to be free from the need to control.

 Because I’m ready to live in truth and let others live in theirs.