Emotional Adulthood (EAA)

12 steps

1. We admitted we had avoided growing up in certain ways and that this was making our lives unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Greater Maturity within us could restore us to clarity and courage.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our reactions over to the care of this Maturity as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of the areas we refused to grow.

5. Admitted to ourselves, to another human being, and to our inner child the exact nature of our stunted growth.

6. Became entirely ready to let go of childish defenses and survival-based coping.

7. Humbly asked to be guided through the discomfort of growing pains.

8. Made a list of people, including our younger selves, whom we had hurt by not growing up — and became willing to make it right.

9. Made direct amends wherever possible, except when doing so would cause more harm than healing.

10. Continued to examine our moments of emotional immaturity and responded with growth instead of shame.

11. Sought through meditation, journaling, and real-life practice to deepen our connection with Emotional Adulthood, praying only for the strength to respond rather than react.

12. Having awakened to a new kind of responsibility, we tried to carry this message to others still afraid of growing up, and to practice maturity in all our affairs.

13th Step Safeguard

We recognize that early maturity can tempt us to take responsibility for others before we’ve fully reparented ourselves. We safeguard against trying to “fix,” “raise,” or “heal” others prematurely — especially in emotionally charged relationships. This includes romanticizing our growth or using our newfound maturity to control, rescue, or become superior.

Instead of parenting others, we commit to parenting ourselves first.

 We grow through example, not authority. We protect the sacred space of our group by keeping boundaries, honoring each person's timeline, and focusing on becoming the adult we once needed — not finding someone else to be that for.

12 Traditions

1. Our emotional sobriety comes first; personal maturity depends on unity.

2. For our group purpose, a loving, emotionally mature authority may guide us — our Higher Self as expressed in collective wisdom.

3. The only requirement for membership is a desire to grow up.

4. Each member has the freedom to grow in their own way, as long as it doesn’t block others' growth.

5. Our primary purpose is to grow into maturity and help others do the same.

6. We do not enable emotional dependency nor seek validation through outside approval.

7. We are fully self-supporting through inner discipline, not external control.

8. Growing Up Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service may require practice.

9. We may create growth-friendly structures, but they serve — they do not control.

10. We have no opinion on outside adulthood debates; our name must not be drawn into immature arguments.

11. We grow by attraction, not promotion. We share maturity, not superiority.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our maturity — placing principles before personalities.

12 Promises

1. We will not feel ashamed for learning late.

2. We will respond instead of react.

3. We will know the difference between a need and a tantrum.

4. We will become our own caretaker without abandoning our joy.

5. We will feel peace in delayed gratification.

6. We will learn from consequences without collapsing.

7. We will build healthy boundaries and loving bridges.

8. We will make peace with being “enough” — not perfect.

9. We will parent ourselves without punishment.

10. We will speak up without yelling or shrinking.

11. We will forgive our past self without excusing immaturity.

12. We will become the adult we once needed.

Slogans

• “Respond, don’t react.”

• “Growth over comfort.”

• “Feel it, face it, free it.”

• “It's not too late to reparent.”

• “I am safe to grow.”

• “Progress, not regression.”

• “I am not a victim of growing up late — I’m the survivor of not being shown how.”

Acronyms

GROW – Gracefully Releasing Old Ways

 M.A.T.U.R.E. – Mindfully Aware, Trusting, Unlearning, Rebuilding Everything

 A.D.U.L.T. – Accountable, Disciplined, Unapologetically Learning Truth

 P.A.U.S.E. – Practice Awareness Until Serenity Emerges

creation of

Emotional Adulthood (EAA)

Here is a 12-step recovery program in the spirit of AA, themed around growing up — emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and practically. This can apply to anyone who feels they missed key parts of development, or who wants to reclaim their maturity on their own terms.