Being Lied (BLA)

Being Lied (BLA)

12 steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over other people’s truth—that our peace had become unmanageable. Lies shook our sense of safety. We couldn’t force honesty, only acknowledge the impact.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore our trust, clarity, and inner knowing. Even when others distort truth, we are not alone—we can be restored to wholeness.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our perception over to the care of a Higher Truth as we understood it. We no longer live by false stories. We seek divine insight, not control.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of how dishonesty has shaped our beliefs, behaviors, and wounds. We looked not just at what was done to us, but what we started to believe about ourselves because of it.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our pain, confusion, and reactions. We gave voice to betrayal and how it shaped our hearts, without shame.

6. Were entirely ready to have our obsession with “why they lied” and our fear of future lies removed. We became willing to stop replaying the lie and start repairing the truth within.

7. Humbly asked our Higher Power to remove the survival patterns we developed from not being told the truth. We let go of cynicism, suspicion, people-pleasing, and self-doubt.

8. Made a list of those who had lied to us, and those we had lied to in response, and became willing to release resentment. We acknowledged how lies created chains, and we began the work of breaking them.

9. Made direct amends to ourselves first—and to others where appropriate—by reclaiming our voice, our worth, and our boundaries. We chose truth in action: speaking up, setting limits, and staying grounded.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we noticed dishonesty or self-abandonment, promptly returned to truth.

We learned to catch our patterns before they became habits.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Higher Truth, seeking only awareness and alignment.

We became fluent in inner truth, not outer validation.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we carried this truth-centered peace to others and practiced honesty, empathy, and integrity in all our affairs.

We became safe places—truth-tellers who don’t cause more harm.

13th Step Safeguard

In this program, we safeguard against:

• Manipulating others by pretending to be honest while concealing intent.

• Using "truth-telling" as a weapon rather than a healing tool.

• Seeking emotional intimacy in recovery spaces to replace doing the actual work.

• Preying on vulnerability, trust, or the desire for validation—especially when someone is still processing betrayal.

• Sharing someone else’s story under the guise of "speaking truth."

🛡️ 13th Step Safeguards & Practices

1. Honor emotional consent. Just because someone opens up doesn’t mean they’re ready for your story, opinions, or advice.

2. Truth must be paired with timing, tone, and tenderness. Weaponized honesty is still dishonesty in disguise.

3. Spiritual bypassing is still lying. Don’t use “God told me” or “it’s your lesson” to avoid accountability.

4. Recovery is not a shortcut to closeness. Don’t build connections on trauma bonding, sympathy, or shared pain alone.

5. When in doubt, pause and pray. If the truth you’re about to speak isn’t kind, necessary, and clean—wait.

Protect the newly honest.

 Those just beginning to speak their truth are fragile. Treat their courage like sacred ground.

12 Traditions

1. Our personal serenity depends on unity with truth—no lie can separate us from healing when we stay honest with ourselves.

2. For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority—a Higher Truth expressing itself through the conscience we develop in recovery.

3. The only requirement for belonging is a desire to live in truth and heal from betrayal.

4. Each person may work their own recovery, provided their path does not harm the truth or safety of others.

5. Each group or meeting has one primary purpose—to carry the message that healing from dishonesty is possible.

6. A recovery group should never endorse lies, secrets, or emotional manipulation—lest outside influence distract us from our true message.

7. Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, refusing to trade truth for comfort or illusion.

8. Our recovery steps may involve support from others, but our core message remains spiritual, not commercial.

9. We may create structures to support truth-telling and healing, but never control.

10. We have no opinion on external dishonesty, drama, or betrayal—our focus is truth within and healing forward.

11. We carry the message of healing through honesty—not through shaming, blaming, or exposing others.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our healing—placing principles of truth above personalities or performances.

12 Promises

1. We will begin to trust ourselves again—even when others don’t tell us the truth.

2. We will no longer be driven by fear of being fooled, used, or manipulated.

3. We will learn that inner peace isn’t based on others’ honesty, but on our own integrity.

4. We will stop questioning our worth just because someone couldn’t be honest with us.

5. We will recognize red flags without needing them to be flaming disasters first.

6. We will grow stronger in our ability to speak up without needing to argue or defend.

7. We will forgive—not to excuse the lie, but to set ourselves free from its weight.

8. We will begin to attract relationships built on clarity, safety, and mutual truth.

9. We will no longer confuse silence for safety or lying for loyalty.

10. We will trust our intuition and no longer override it to keep others comfortable.

11. We will find strength in our vulnerability, not shame.

12. We will discover that living in truth is not just possible—it’s peaceful, powerful, and freeing.

Slogans

1. “Truth needs no defense.”

2. “My peace is not up for negotiation.”

3. “Listen to your gut—then back it up with grace.”

4. “Don’t argue with the mask. Walk with the mirror.”

5. “Boundaries are how I tell the truth to myself.”

6. “Their lie is not my truth.”

7. “Pause before you believe. Pray before you react.”

8. “Clarity over chaos.”

9. “I can forgive the person, but not the pattern.”

10. “I choose honesty, even when it’s hard.”

11. “Silence can be loud. So can intuition.”

12. “I walk away to stay aligned, not to punish.”

Acronyms

1. TRUTH – Taking Responsibility Under The Healer Choosing clarity over reactivity, guided by a Higher Power.

2. LIE – Lacking Inner Essence A lie is a cover-up for someone’s inability to be real—not a reflection of your worth.

3. SAFE – Self-Awareness First, Every time Before reacting, pause and check in with your truth.

4. FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real What dishonesty makes you feel isn’t always the full truth.

5. REAL – Remember Everything Aligns with Light Truth always rises—sometimes slowly, but steadily.

6. BOUNDARY – Being Open, Understanding Needs, Defending And Reaffirming Yourself Boundaries help you tell your truth without aggression.

7. GUT – God’s Unspoken Truth That quiet inner nudge is often more honest than spoken words.

8. TRIGGERS – Truth Revealing Internal Growth, Giving Every Reaction Space Triggers show where we’re healing, not where we’re broken.

9. PEACE – Protecting Energy And Choosing Empowerment Peace isn’t passive—it’s an active alignment with what’s true.

10. GRACE – Grounded Response After Clarity Emerges

Let truth guide your next move, not your fear.

creation of

1. Step Perspective – Honesty as the Antidote

Being lied to often reactivates deep wounds around trust, control, and perception. In recovery, the First Step asks us to admit powerlessness—not just over substances or behavior, but over people, places, and things.

Being lied to reminds us that we can’t control others’ truth. We can only stay rooted in our own.

This situation becomes a real-time moment to practice Step Ten, taking personal inventory:

• Am I hurt, or am I also holding onto an expectation?

• Do I need to speak up or let go?

2. Tradition Lens – Group over Ego

Tradition One speaks to unity. Lies erode trust. In a group or relationship, if honesty isn’t shared, the foundation weakens. But recovery teaches that integrity restores what deceit fractures. We may not prevent others from lying—but we can refuse to participate in that energy by:

• setting boundaries,

• choosing truth even when it’s hard, and

• building trust from our side outward.

3. Promise View – Clarity Over Chaos

The AA Promises include:

“We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.” When lied to, we may wish we hadn’t trusted or had seen it sooner. But in recovery, every experience has value. The gift? Learning to listen without paranoia, and trust without attachment.

4. Slogans to Practice

• “Principles before personalities.”

• “What other people think of me is none of my business.”

• “Don’t take the bait.”

• “Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t say it mean.”

5. Acronyms

• FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real

• TRUTH – Taking Responsibility Under The Healer

• PAUSE – Pray And Use Spiritual Energy

6. 13th Step Safeguard

In situations where dishonesty leads to manipulation—especially in power dynamics—safeguards are essential.

• Bring truth into the light.

• Ask for accountability, not revenge.

• Protect your serenity, even if it means distancing from those who lie consistently.

7. Breakdown Summary

Area	Breakdown
Step	Practice surrender, honesty, and emotional inventory.
Tradition	Lying harms unity—truth maintains trust.
Promise	We gain emotional clarity and resilience.
Slogans	Tools to center in truth without reacting.
Acronyms	Mental reminders for recovery-minded response.
Safeguard	Boundaries, awareness, and safe fellowship matter.