Assuming (AA)

Assuming (AAssuming)

step zero: Awareness of the Assumption Trap

What brought us here:

• We got tired of the tension, misunderstandings, and quiet resentments that grow from assuming instead of asking. Assumptions robbed us of peace, twisted our thinking, and damaged our relationships — sometimes without us even realizing it. We came to this fellowship because we saw how assuming closes doors, and curiosity opens them.

What will help us stay out of our stuck thinking:

• Remembering that assumptions are shortcuts our minds take when we’re uncomfortable with uncertainty.

• Staying curious: It’s okay not to know. It’s okay to ask.

• Reflecting on the times assumptions led us into conflict, fear, or isolation — and how different those situations could have been if we had paused and asked instead.

• Practicing The Pause — that sacred moment where we check in before reacting or believing our first thought.

• Seeing this as a journey, not a switch — unlearning assumptions takes time and gentle persistence.

Why we stay:

• Because it feels better to live in reality than in stories our fears create. Because clarity gives us peace. Because relationships are worth building with truth, not guesses. And because when we live free from assumptions, we finally live free.

12 steps

1. We admitted we made assumptions that clouded our judgment and harmed our relationships.

2. Came to believe that questioning our assumptions could restore clarity and peace.

3. Made a decision to pause and seek understanding rather than assuming.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of the assumptions we often make.

5. Admitted to ourselves, another person, and our Higher Power the assumptions and judgments we carry.

6. Became entirely ready to let go of harmful assumptions.

7. Humbly asked our Higher Power to replace assumptions with curiosity.

8. Made a list of those harmed by our assumptions and became willing to make amends.

9. Made direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so would cause harm.

10. Continued to pause and question our assumptions, admitting when we slip.

11. Sought through prayer, meditation, and reflection to improve our awareness and understanding.

Having awakened to the freedom beyond assumptions, we carried this message and practiced this new awareness in all our affairs.

13th Step Safeguard

 Be cautious not to assume someone's intentions, feelings, or readiness within the fellowship. Let questions replace assumptions. Especially around vulnerability or attraction—clarity comes from asking, not guessing.

12 Traditions

1. Our common welfare comes before our personal interpretations.

2. For our group purpose, a loving Higher Power expresses clarity, not assumptions.

3. The only requirement is a desire to break free from harmful assumptions.

4. Each group is autonomous, but assumptions that harm others are gently challenged.

5. Our primary purpose is to help others recover from assumptions.

6. Our group never endorses assumptions disguised as facts.

7. We are self-supporting by practicing understanding.

8. Assumption recovery is freely shared, without authority.

9. Our structure encourages open-mindedness, not rigid conclusions.

10. We have no opinion on outside assumptions.

11. Our message is one of awareness, not assumption.

12. Anonymity reminds us to ask before assuming.

12 Promises

1. We will learn to pause before we assume.

2. Our relationships will improve as we seek understanding over presumption.

3. We will experience less conflict as we stop filling in the blanks with our fears.

4. We will trust ourselves to ask rather than guess.

5. We will gain freedom from the anxiety that assumptions create.

6. We will no longer let unspoken stories run our lives.

7. We will see people more clearly, not through the lens of assumption.

8. We will enjoy deeper connections built on curiosity and truth.

9. We will respond to uncertainty with openness, not judgment.

10. We will find peace knowing it's okay not to have all the answers.

11. Our inner critic will quiet as we replace assumption with awareness.

12. We will know a new freedom and clarity as we live beyond assumptions.

Slogans

• "Assume Less, Ask More."

• "Curiosity Replaces Assumption."

• "Check the Facts, Not Your Fears."

• "Pause the Guess, Seek the Yes."

• "Assumptions Are Resentments in Disguise."

Acronyms

 ASSUME — A Silent Story Undermining My Experience

 PAUSE — Practice Asking Until Seeking Ends (the guessing)

 FACT — Find Answers, Challenge Thinking

Serenity Prayer

Higher Power, grant me the serenity

To accept that I don't always know the full story,

The courage to pause and ask instead of assume,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Additional Prayers

Step 0 Prayer — The Foundation Prayer

Higher Power, remind me why I’m here.Help me see how my assumptions have separated me from truth, from peace, and from others.Keep me aware of the stories my mind creates when I’m afraid to ask or sit with uncertainty.Let me stay grounded in curiosity, not judgment.When I forget, gently bring me back to what brought me here — the desire to live free from assumptions and open to truth.

Step 1 Prayer:Higher Power, help me admit when my assumptions have harmed me and others. Show me how to face the truth with humility.

Step 2 Prayer:Grant me the belief that clarity and peace can return when I question my assumptions.

Step 3 Prayer:I turn my reactions and assumptions over to You. Guide me to pause and seek understanding first.

Step 4 Prayer:Help me honestly examine the assumptions I make — about myself, others, and the world — and reveal where they have shaped my actions.

Step 5 Prayer:Give me the courage to admit my assumptions to myself, to another person, and to You, that I may be free of their grip.

Step 6 Prayer:I am willing to let go of the comfort and false safety that assumptions provide. Prepare me to live with openness instead.

Step 7 Prayer:I humbly ask that You remove the assumptions that cloud my vision and replace them with patience and curiosity.

Step 8 Prayer:Show me where my assumptions have hurt others. Make me willing to make those harms right.

Step 9 Prayer:Guide me to make amends for the harm my assumptions have caused, with gentleness, courage, and clarity.

Step 10 Prayer:Grant me daily awareness to catch my assumptions as they arise, and the humility to admit when I fall back into them.

Step 11 Prayer:Through prayer and reflection, deepen my understanding and quiet my need to assume. Let me hear Your voice of truth.

Step 12 Prayer:Having been freed from the trap of assumptions, help me carry this message to others and live with understanding, not judgment, in all my affairs.

What Needs to Be Talked About:

☑️ The Assumption Trap:How our minds rush to fill in the blanks when we don’t have all the information — and how that can lead to misunderstanding, hurt, resentment, or isolation.

☑️ Fear Behind the Assumption:How fear — of rejection, abandonment, looking foolish, or being wrong — often fuels our assumptions.

☑️ The Cost of Assuming:The impact assumptions have on relationships, self-esteem, and spiritual growth. How they rob us of peace and authenticity.

☑️ Replacing Assumptions with Curiosity:The power of pausing to ask questions instead of making assumptions. How curiosity builds connection, understanding, and self-respect.

☑️ Awareness of Silent Stories:How we can silently invent stories about what others think, feel, or intend — and live by those stories as if they’re facts.

☑️ Living in the Gray:The discomfort of uncertainty, and how learning to live with not knowing brings more peace than false certainty ever could.

☑️ Self-Compassion for Assumption Patterns:It’s human to assume — we aren’t here to shame ourselves but to grow in awareness and gently unlearn the habit.

☑️ Accountability and Amends:Owning when our assumptions caused harm and making amends — even if the harm was unspoken or subtle.

☑️ Spiritual Connection Over Mental Projection:Building a relationship with our Higher Power to lean on for guidance, rather than relying solely on our mind’s first conclusion.

☑️ The Ongoing Practice:Breaking free from assumptions is not a one-time fix — it’s a daily practice of awareness, patience, and humility.

How This Program Can Help:

1. It teaches us to pause before reacting.Instead of letting assumptions fuel our emotions and actions, we learn to pause, breathe, and ask for clarity — saving us from unnecessary conflict, anxiety, and regret.

2. It replaces fear with curiosity.This program helps us step out of fear-based guessing and lean into curiosity, building healthier, more honest relationships with ourselves and others.

3. It improves communication.We become willing to ask questions, express our feelings, and admit when we don’t know — strengthening connections rather than damaging them with false assumptions.

4. It frees us from silent resentments.By unlearning assumptions, we stop building quiet stories in our heads about what others think, mean, or feel. We experience peace where resentment used to live.

5. It brings spiritual clarity.Assumptions distort reality. This program helps us reconnect with truth, awareness, and a Higher Power — reminding us that not knowing everything is okay.

6. It restores our self-respect.We stop beating ourselves up for being wrong or misunderstanding. Instead, we live with integrity, owning what we know and asking when we don’t.

7. It helps us navigate uncertainty.This program equips us to be okay with the unknown. We learn to live in the gray areas of life without letting fear or assumption control us.

8. It offers daily tools for real life.Whether in relationships, at work, with family, or in recovery — the tools of AAssuming apply everywhere: pause, ask, reflect, stay curious.

9. It reminds us we’re not alone.We find community with others who’ve struggled with assumptions, judgment, and fear. Together, we grow toward honesty, peace, and connection.

10. It transforms how we see the world.Instead of seeing life through the fog of assumption, we start seeing it through the lens of clarity, curiosity, and compassion.

step work

Step 0: Awareness of the Assumption Trap

• What brought you here? List specific examples where assumptions hurt your relationships, recovery, or peace of mind.

• When was the last time an assumption turned out to be completely wrong? How did that feel?

• What fears usually drive your assumptions? (Fear of rejection, being wrong, looking foolish, etc.)

• How might staying curious instead of assuming change your life?

Step 1: We admitted we made assumptions that clouded our judgment and harmed our relationships.

• List recent situations where you acted on an assumption instead of the facts.

• How have assumptions caused harm — to yourself or others?

• What happens to your thinking when you don’t have all the information?

Step 2: Came to believe that questioning our assumptions could restore clarity and peace.

• Do you believe you can change your thinking patterns? Why or why not?

• What has happened when you’ve paused to ask questions instead of assuming?

• How does curiosity bring peace into your life?

Step 3: Made a decision to pause and seek understanding rather than assuming.

• What tools can help you pause when you feel tempted to assume?

• How does your Higher Power or inner guidance help you with this?

• Are you willing to live with uncertainty instead of filling the blanks with assumptions?

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless inventory of the assumptions we often make.

• List your most common assumptions (about people, situations, yourself).

• How have these shaped your actions and feelings?

• Which assumptions feel hardest to let go of? Why?

Step 5: Admitted to ourselves, another person, and our Higher Power the assumptions and judgments we carry.

• Who is safe for you to share your assumptions inventory with?

• How does admitting your assumptions out loud help release their power?

• What’s your experience sharing honestly with a Higher Power?

Step 6: Became entirely ready to let go of harmful assumptions.

• Are there assumptions you’re still holding onto? Why?

• What would it feel like to live without those assumptions?

• How ready are you — on a scale from 1-10 — to let them go?

Step 7: Humbly asked our Higher Power to replace assumptions with curiosity.

• What does humility mean to you in the context of assumptions?

• Write a simple prayer asking for your assumptions to be replaced with openness.

• How can you practice curiosity daily?

Step 8: Made a list of those harmed by our assumptions and became willing to make amends.

• Who has been affected by your assumptions?

• How did those assumptions impact them?

• Are you willing to take responsibility and make things right?

Step 9: Made direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so would cause harm.

• For each person on your list, what would an appropriate amend look like?

• How can you approach this with humility, not defensiveness?

• Are there situations where making an amend might cause harm? How will you handle those?

Step 10: Continued to pause and question our assumptions, admitting when we slip.

• How are you tracking your daily assumptions? Journal? Mental note?

• When you slip back into assuming, how do you handle it?

• How does admitting your mistakes help your growth?

Step 11: Sought through prayer, meditation, and reflection to improve our awareness and understanding.

• What spiritual practice helps you stay curious and grounded?

• How do you invite your Higher Power into your thinking process?

• How has reflection changed the way you approach uncertainty?

Step 12: Having awakened to the freedom beyond assumptions, we carried this message and practiced this new awareness in all our affairs.

• How will you share this message with others — through words or by example?

• What does “freedom beyond assumptions” look like in your daily life?

• How has your recovery from assumptions transformed you?

Categorized

✅ Primary Category: 💬 Relational & Social Dynamics Why: Assumptions are relationship killers—this program helps rebuild healthy dialogue and trust through curiosity.

✅ Secondary Categories: 🧠 Mindset & Emotional Recovery Why: Assumptions often stem from emotional reactions or distorted thinking patterns—we need to reframe them.

☂️ Existential & Symbolic

 Why: At its core, assumption is a metaphor for our need to feel certain in an uncertain world. Replacing that with spiritual principles brings peace.

Alternative Program Name Ideas

 CFA — Curiosity First Anonymous

✅ QRA — Question, Reflect, Ask Anonymous

✅ NOAA — No Overthinking, Ask Anonymous (play on "NOAA" weather agency, like forecasting vs. assuming)

✅ PAA — Pause & Ask Anonymous

✅ UAA — Unlearning Assumptions Anonymous

✅ BASA — Breaking Assumptions, Seeking Awareness

✅ CIAA — Curiosity In Action Anonymous

✅ GBA — Get the Bigger Answer

✅ WHA — What's Happening Anonymous (reminder to focus on facts, not fears)

✅ AIA — Assumptions in Awareness